… something to write home about.

Cherry.

Chocolate.

Diet.

Dr. Pepper.

WTF?  How does that thought process work? 

"Hey Mike, what flavors haven’t we combined yet?"

"Gee, I think we’ve tried them all."

Apparently, they haven’t.

So, yesterday just wasn’t a good day.

One of my cars, the van, broke and is now undriveable for the time being, at least until Saturday. Apparently a pool of power steering fluid is not a good sign.

Did I mention it is parked on a sloped driveway?

Did I also mention that the high temperature today was 20 degrees Fahrenheit?

Perhaps I’ll find the stones to fix it on Saturday.

Back to the bad day though; it wasn’t one or two big problems, just lots of little ones. Feeling somewhat overwhelmed, I decided to reboot my day. I made some Top Ramen (beef flavor) and a bowl of buttered popcorn when my work day was over and the boy was asleep and watched CSI and Futurama.

Not such a bad day at all.

I finally figured out how to lose 40 pounds or so of apparently useless fat.

Anyone know of someplace I can buy a guillotine?

In a related thought, lately the tv shows a commercial which shows a man finding a bum in the park, all rubbery and gross. The tag line is something like “looks like someone lost it playing with their kids.”

While that is a good sentiment, every time I see this commercial I think, “How is he/she going to sit down now?”

Don’t worry; it doesn’t keep me up at night or anything.

What a wonderful bit of animation!  If you are over, say 35, you’ll remember many of these album covers and possibly owned a few.

Battle of the Bands

I’ve watched it a couple of times now and it is still genius.  As a warning though, there is purile humor of the gross and sophmoric kind here - don’t link through if you are easily offended.

I’ve got to go listen to some Pearl Jam or something after this:

http://tvinjapan.com/blog/2006/09/10/big-in-japan-right-now-the-tarako-cupie-girls/

Augh!

Lifted directly from lifehack.org’s article, “Does This Smell Okay to You?“:

Here is a collection … on how to tell if your food is spoiled.

1. Eggs: If something is trying to peck its way out of the shell, the egg is not fresh.
2. Milk: Milk is spoiled when it looks like yogurt.
3. Yogurt: Yogurt is spoiled when it looks like cottage cheese.
4. Cottage Cheese: Cottage Cheese is spoiled when it looks like regular cheese.
5. Regular Cheese: Regular cheese is basically spoiled milk so really doesn’t spoil. But when your regular cheese begins to look like blue cheese get rid of it anyway.
6. Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise is spoiled when you have to have your stomach pumped because you became violently ill after eating it.
7. Meat: If cats gather at your back door whenever you open your meat drawer, the meat is spoiled.
8. Bread: Bread is spoiled when it attains the ability to cure an infection.
9. Flour: Flour is spoiled when it has moving rice in it and you didn’t put any rice in it.
10. Canned Goods: Canned goods are spoiled when they begin to resemble a rugby ball.
11. Carrots: Carrots are spoiled when they take on the characteristics of a wet rope.
12. Potatoes: Potatoes are spoiled when they have more eyes than your graduating class. Nor should they have a deep leafy underbrush.
13. Chip Dip: Dip is spoiled when it doesn’t stay in the same place you put it in the refrigerator.
14. Wine: Wine is spoiled when it becomes an acceptable base for a salad dressing.
15. Lettuce: Lettuce is spoiled when its color and consistency can be mistaken for green jello.
16. Raisins: Raisins are spoiled when they can be mistaken for bituminous coal.

And, why is it that when someone offers us something that obviously smells bad WE ALWAYS SMELL IT?!?  I see this happen all of the time;  someone makes comment similar to “Oh, man that smells nasty!  Here take a whiff!” and someone else leans over smells it and recoils in disgust.  WHY?!?

Okay, I’m done.

I don’t know if girls go through this, but dudes have these… issues… with the restroom. Such as if there are three urinals, take one on the side so the next bloke doesn’t have to stand next to you, stuff like that.
Anyway, the rather articulate young man over at jonsonblog gives a nice description of how to slow down the passage of time on a Monday.

My favorite comment is down a bit… the one from Fred on August 4th.

There is also a rather interesting description by a Japanese high school teacher on how to urinate.

So last night I had a very, very vivid dream.

Amazingly, I still remember it.

Here is what I remember… I was driving, I don’t know what freeway but it wasn’t local since it was low rolling hills, kind of like the area outside Fort Worth, Texas. I’m changing freeways and I’m below the horizon a bit when I notice a black column of smoke pouring into the sky. It is huge and very recent since it hasn’t had time to start to break up at all. As I take the offramp and climb up the little hill the scene is … well, unreal (this is a dream, remember).

I still can’t see what is at the base of the column of smoke. However, there is a crashed passenger airliner in the middle of the freeway about a quarter of a mile ahead of me on the right. There is a passenger airliner in the air careening out of control as if the pilot was attempting to regain control of the craft. Cars are sliding all over the road as this unfolds in the sky above. I can see every detail in a hyper-realistic way and I slam on the brakes and slide to a stop.

I jump out of the car and with a few other people we pull the back off of the plane (dream, remember?) and pull the people out, unharmed. Then we start unloading the luggage. I remember there was a football with a cut in it that was ruined and I was trying to find out who it belonged to so I could give it back.

What does it all mean?

Don’t eat chips and dip before falling asleep at my desk.

OEDILF - The Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form

Yes, you guessed it. Limericks.

I rather enjoyed reading the entries on this. They are inventive and often funny and if you are uncertain of the word it is usually defined in the original boring manner below the limerick. Not always though, which is why there is Google.

Chilli sauce is real killer

I like a good salsa or hot sauce. I make my own on occasion, sometimes too hot for other persons consumption. (Not intentionally, I’m just a bit imprecise)

This stuff makes my skin crawl - something that hot, that painful just doesn’t make any sense to me except as bragging rights.

“Man, I had this sauce that was so hot I was hospitalized for three DAYS!”

I’ll stick with my habeneros and jalapenos, thankyouverymuch. I still like to taste my food.